The place to get all your online party and marketing info
Update to We're Adopting
I wish to thank everyone for the out pouring support on our pending adoption.
Unfortunatly we have had to put this on hold and I am not sure for how long or if we will even go forward with it.
As so many of you know, John and I are adoptive parents already to Steven who has been with us for 10 years now and it has been a challenge raising him. A few years ago, Steven was diagonosed as a sociopath, a diagnosis that I have been struggling with and praying they would reconsider.
This past week has proved to be something different for our family, we are use to the allegations he makes of abuse and neglect, these are always unfounded and we carry our papers to prove it, we are use to him running away and stealing from businessess which we always go back and try to right his wrong once he gets back home. He's even done time in the juvenile detention center for assault and battery on me, been on probation (which he was dismissed from for not being compliant) and had to do community service for robbing a business. You would think he would've gotten the clue by now…but no! He hasn't. This past week he ran away again and stepped his game up to residential criminal property damage. He broke into a garage he believed to be vacant and destroyed it. He cut all kinds of electrial wires in the garage and shorted the whole building out. The amount of damage is estimated to be in the thousands of dollars. He also broke into several cars and trucks vandalizing them and stealing property out of them. The property owner tried to press charges on him, but the police would not even take the report due to his mental health issues, yes you read it right! One of the vehicle owners refused to press charges on him and just took his losses as he was an older man and feared retalliation from the young thugs as he put it. The businesses he robbed just say he can't come back and if they see him they will have him arrested at that point.
So we get the phone call from the police department that they have him in custody and we need to come pick him up. This is when we found out all this information on what he had done. I was beside myself and ashamed that my son had done this and then came the embarrassment. You'd think by now that nothing would phase me, but it still does. They tell him he has to go home with us and then it starts, they'll beat me, they'll kill me, blah, blah, blah same song different day.
The police say send him home, DCFS says send him home. So, here we go again as long as he is at the police department he is tough and untouchable. We get home and he acts like nothing is wrong just another day.
Our caseworker finally comes out to talk to us and tells us, we don't have a say anymore, they failed us and they are going to try to right the wrong now, but he has to be sent to a long term treatment center a minimum of 6 months and that is if DCFS takes the fair way to do this. Should they not want to do the right thing then we are going to take charges for locking his window shut and locking him in his room at night so he can't run, now mind you we were told to do this by DCFS and the police department and now it is going to back fire on us! HA! Go Figure! They guarantee reversal of the charges though, yeah like I believe that. I am just glad that I have enough documentation to back my case!
Steven has already been told he is leaving to a treatment facility, that was their first mistake. Now he is back to trying to run the house. John has just gone back to work today so it has been difficult for me as he is very aggressive towards me and so very defiant. I have been on the phone all day trying to reach our worker with no luck. I was finally just able to get a message to him now.
We were told we might even have to terminate our parental rights. This was very hard for us as Steven is our only child and our baby. We love him with all that we are and all that we have, but we can't help him and we can't save him. We are constantly hitting brick walls and running into dead end roads. I have gone from crying to angry, to hurt to crying and starting all over again. I just want my baby back and it doesn't look like that will ever happen!
So, in light of all that is happening, we decided it's not fair to bring a baby into this environment with such havoc and distress. We thought it was going to be different and everyone thought it was a great idea and the timing was right to move forward with the addition to the family. We decided it's just not the time for us now and maybe never will be again.
So, again, I thank you for your support and your prayers whether it has been for Steven or for the adoption or for both. Please know that we are grateful for it all and so very thankful.
Thank you for listening to me babble about my drama filled life!
Sandy (Mom with her heart being torn out as we speak)
Unfortunatly we have had to put this on hold and I am not sure for how long or if we will even go forward with it.
As so many of you know, John and I are adoptive parents already to Steven who has been with us for 10 years now and it has been a challenge raising him. A few years ago, Steven was diagonosed as a sociopath, a diagnosis that I have been struggling with and praying they would reconsider.
This past week has proved to be something different for our family, we are use to the allegations he makes of abuse and neglect, these are always unfounded and we carry our papers to prove it, we are use to him running away and stealing from businessess which we always go back and try to right his wrong once he gets back home. He's even done time in the juvenile detention center for assault and battery on me, been on probation (which he was dismissed from for not being compliant) and had to do community service for robbing a business. You would think he would've gotten the clue by now…but no! He hasn't. This past week he ran away again and stepped his game up to residential criminal property damage. He broke into a garage he believed to be vacant and destroyed it. He cut all kinds of electrial wires in the garage and shorted the whole building out. The amount of damage is estimated to be in the thousands of dollars. He also broke into several cars and trucks vandalizing them and stealing property out of them. The property owner tried to press charges on him, but the police would not even take the report due to his mental health issues, yes you read it right! One of the vehicle owners refused to press charges on him and just took his losses as he was an older man and feared retalliation from the young thugs as he put it. The businesses he robbed just say he can't come back and if they see him they will have him arrested at that point.
So we get the phone call from the police department that they have him in custody and we need to come pick him up. This is when we found out all this information on what he had done. I was beside myself and ashamed that my son had done this and then came the embarrassment. You'd think by now that nothing would phase me, but it still does. They tell him he has to go home with us and then it starts, they'll beat me, they'll kill me, blah, blah, blah same song different day.
The police say send him home, DCFS says send him home. So, here we go again as long as he is at the police department he is tough and untouchable. We get home and he acts like nothing is wrong just another day.
Our caseworker finally comes out to talk to us and tells us, we don't have a say anymore, they failed us and they are going to try to right the wrong now, but he has to be sent to a long term treatment center a minimum of 6 months and that is if DCFS takes the fair way to do this. Should they not want to do the right thing then we are going to take charges for locking his window shut and locking him in his room at night so he can't run, now mind you we were told to do this by DCFS and the police department and now it is going to back fire on us! HA! Go Figure! They guarantee reversal of the charges though, yeah like I believe that. I am just glad that I have enough documentation to back my case!
Steven has already been told he is leaving to a treatment facility, that was their first mistake. Now he is back to trying to run the house. John has just gone back to work today so it has been difficult for me as he is very aggressive towards me and so very defiant. I have been on the phone all day trying to reach our worker with no luck. I was finally just able to get a message to him now.
We were told we might even have to terminate our parental rights. This was very hard for us as Steven is our only child and our baby. We love him with all that we are and all that we have, but we can't help him and we can't save him. We are constantly hitting brick walls and running into dead end roads. I have gone from crying to angry, to hurt to crying and starting all over again. I just want my baby back and it doesn't look like that will ever happen!
So, in light of all that is happening, we decided it's not fair to bring a baby into this environment with such havoc and distress. We thought it was going to be different and everyone thought it was a great idea and the timing was right to move forward with the addition to the family. We decided it's just not the time for us now and maybe never will be again.
So, again, I thank you for your support and your prayers whether it has been for Steven or for the adoption or for both. Please know that we are grateful for it all and so very thankful.
Thank you for listening to me babble about my drama filled life!
Sandy (Mom with her heart being torn out as we speak)
Comment
-
Comment by Sandy Joyce on October 16, 2009 at 12:42pm -
Thank you Glenda.
I am sorry for the loss of your daughter. I couldn't even imagine and congratulate you on your new addition to the family.
We actually just had our first court hearing yesterday to decide if we are going to bring him home or allow the system to take guardianship of him for the time being and after so much heartache we decided to not bring him home with us at this time as we know he needs help that we cannot provide. It was the hardest decision I think I have ever had to make in my life!
He is still saying he don't want to live here, but he wants to come home in 2 years when he turns 18. I just don't understand it!
I'm struggling with the issues at hand and knowing that I love him and want him home, but can't help him and he doesn't want us.
We are now faced with making the choice of continuing to try to get him to change his mind and work with him or do we just want to terminate our parental rights!!!
He's been with us since he was 6 and he's now approaching his 16th birthday here in just a few months ~ He's making it clear and wants it known that he doesn't want us anymore.
We have another court hearing at the end of the month and it's just tearing me apart inside that I can't change him and I can't help him and he has no problem telling the world he just don't want us!
Thank you for your prayers they are so appreciated. I myself am praying for an answer and looking for a solution that benefits both him and the rest of our family who is hurting right along with John and myself.
-
Comment by Glenda Cates on October 16, 2009 at 9:52am - This is just horrible. I am so sorry you are having to go throught this. I am praying tings have gotten easier for you. I also Pray he is doing better. I can not even think what he must fell. I am so sorry you are dealing with this. I would be just as torn up as you are as yes he is your baby no matter what he does. I am a Mom twoice my daughter was killed at 16 and i am starting over with my son who will be 2 in Dec. I am so sorry the baby you decided to bring into your home is like this. I know from experiance that God has other Plans for you and when you are least expecting it you may get that second baby. I know I did as my daughter would have been 21 if she had lived and now I have a 2 year old. Please know I am Praying for you and if you ever need to speak that i am here for you.
About
Badge
© 2009 Created by carole harris on Ning. Create a Ning Network!
You need to be a member of Caroles Party Central to add comments!
Join this Ning Network